Peter Mandelson is the only man I know who can skulk in broad daylight. - Simon Hoggart

Curiously, it is hard not to be a little optimistic about the future for Zimbabwe (as nobody at all calls it yet, except in political speeches). The fear is not that there will be mass slaughter of the whites, followed by their flight to South Africa and the collapse of the economy, but that the need to retain white confidence may mean that the blacks are badly disappointed.

The theory then is that while the economy continues to flounder under - the Conservatives (the current crop of Ministers reminds me of Edward Scissorhands trying to make balloon animals), they can get in a leader more to their liking.

I'm often amazed at the way politicians – who spend hours poring over opinion poll results in a desperate attempt to discover what the public thinks – are certain they know precisely what God's views are on everything.