Will Rogers Quotes

When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.

If pro is the opposite of con, what is the opposite of Congress?

Always drink upstream from the herd.

A man that don’t love a horse, there is something the matter with him.

It's not what we don't know that hurts. It's what we know that ain't so.

I bet you if I had met him and had a chat with him, I would have found him a very interesting and human fellow, for I never yet met a man that I dident like. When you meet people, no matter what opinion you might have formed about them beforehand, why, after you meet them and see their angle and their personality, why, you can see a lot of good in all of them.

If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went.

I never met a person that I did not want to like

This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer.

I have always said that a conference was held for one reason only, to give everybody a chance to get sore at everybody else. Sometimes it takes two or three conferences to scare up a war, but generally one will do it.

The minute you read something that you can't understand, you can almost be sure that it was drawn up by a lawyer.

There are three kinds of men. The ones that learn by readin’. The few who learn by observation.
The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.

Do the best you can, and don't take life too serious.

We can make this thing into a Party, instead of a Memory.

You never get a second chance to make a first impression