Will Rogers Quotes

We can make this thing into a Party, instead of a Memory.

Common sense ain't common.

When the Judgment Day comes civilization will have an alibi, "I never took a human life, I only sold the fellow the gun to take it with."

It's not what we don't know that hurts. It's what we know that ain't so.

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.

Heroing is one of the shortest-lived professions there is.

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to someone else.

Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.

When you get into trouble 5,000 miles from home, you've got to have been looking for it.

Being a hero is about the shortest-lived profession on Earth.

The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has. Even when you make one out on the level, you don't know when it's through if you are a Crook or a Martyr.

That's one thing about Republican Presidents. They never went in much for plans. They only had one plan. It says "Boys, my head is turned. Just get it while you can."

I am not a member of any organized party — I am a Democrat.

Even though you are on the right track - you will get run over if you just sit there

The problem ain't what people know. It's what people know that ain't so that's the problem.