Will Rogers Quotes

And kid Congress and the Senate, don't scold 'em. They are just children thats never grown up. They don't like to be corrected in company. Don't send messages to 'em, send candy.

If stupidity got us in this mess, how come it can't get us out.

The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it in your back pocket.

If you want to be successful, it's just this simple. Know what you are doing. Love what you are doing. And believe in what you are doing.

I originated a remark many years ago that I think has been copied more than any little thing that I've every said, and I used it in the FOLLIES of 1922. I said America has a unique record. We never lost a war and we never won a conference in our lives. I believe that we could without any degree of egotism, single-handed lick any nation in the world. But we can't confer with Costa Rica and come home with our shirts on.

I am not a member of any organized party — I am a Democrat.

But it's just as Mr. Brisbane and I have been constantly telling you, "Don't gamble"; take all your savings and buy some good stock, and hold it till it goes up, then sell it. If it don't go up, don't buy it.

Being a hero is about the shortest-lived profession on Earth.

Ancient Rome declined because it had a Senate; now what's going to happen to us with both a Senate and a House?

Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.

Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know “why” I look this way. I’ve traveled a long way and some of the roads weren’t paved.

I am a peace man. I haven't got any use for wars and there is no more humor in 'em than there is reason for 'em.

The minute you read something that you can't understand, you can almost be sure that it was drawn up by a lawyer.

The problem ain't what people know. It's what people know that ain't so that's the problem.

You can't say civilization don't advance, however, for in every war they kill you in a new way.