A boy's love comes from a full heart; a man's is more often the result of a full stomach. - Jerome K. Jerome

What the eye does not see, the stomach does not get upset over.

He would use a bit of string this time, and at the critical moment, when the old fool was leaning over the chair at an angle of forty-five, and trying to reach a point three inches beyond what was possible for him to reach, the string would slip, and down he would slide on to the piano, a really fine musical effect being produced by the suddenness with which his head and body struck all the notes at the same time. And Aunt Maria would say that she would not allow the children to stand round and hear such language.

All is vanity and everybody's vain. Women are terribly vain. So are men — more so, if possible.