Well, that's a hell of a reason to poison yourself. - David Sedaris

I'd tried to straighten him out, but there's only so much you can do for a person who thinks Auschwitz is a brand of beer.

There seemed to be some correlation between devotion to God and a misguided zeal for marshmallows.

Amy, Tiffany and I sat in the kitchen and talked until three thirty this morning. One of the things we laughed about was an old episode of The Newlywed Game. The host asked the wives, "What's the most exotic place you've ever made love?" He was likely expecting "The kitchen" or "On a tennis court at night," but one woman didn't quite understand the question and answered, "In the butt."