I ain't no computer hacker! - Mr. T

I pity the university for not giving T enough time. You know I got all duded up, got dressed, the students were all ready for me, then they gave me short time. So I pity them. So if they want to be unpitied, they'll invite me back and give me more time.

Mr. T has the greatest hair in the world. You can't deny it, it's been proven by science, fool!

See, if I come into a black neighborhood and say, "Thanks for watching my show," and give out high fives and all that, I'm not doing no good. I go out and see a kid grabbing his crotch. Ain't nobody telling them that. Where do they get it from? They watch MTV. I say, "If you wash up more often, you won't have to grab your crotch." I'm telling these guys, "Why you gotta grab your crotch?" Then you see Michael Jackson grabbing his crotch 50 times. What's with him?