Last night at the bar someone asked me to say something 'hot and sexy'. All I could think of on the fly was 'Hayden Christensen'. (7 September 2010) - Yahtzee Croshaw

Oh, and for the benefit of those people who think I haven't been English enough in my recent articles: Bum bollocks tosser cor blimey guvnor eccles cakes apples and pears god save the queen fish and chips I hate yanks etc. (More from the Poetry Corner)

I seem to have gathered a reputation for being a jerk in real life, because frankly fans make me uncomfortable. Complete strangers come up and talk to me like they've known me their whole lives, and for that reason I can seem a bit stand-offish... No, the whole "fan" thing confuses me.

Ctrl+Alt+Del is the Rubbish King, sitting proudly on a throne of rotting meat.