Books”—Snell smiled—“are a kind of magic. - Jasper Fforde

"I need to get home and have a long, hot bath and then a martini."
Thursday5 thought for a moment. "After you've drunk the long, hot bath," she observed, "you'll never have room for the martini."

You’ll excuse me if I’m not convinced by your supposed altruism.

To a text-based life-form, unpredictable syntax and poor grammar is a source of huge discomfort. Ill-fitting grammar are like ill-fitting shoes. You can get used to it for a bit, but then one day your toes fall off and you can’t walk to the bathroom. Poor syntax is even worse. Change word order and a sentence useless for anyone Yoda except you have.