I am as happy,' said he, 'as a kingk, enchoying himsellef in his harem mit his queens. - Randolph Bedford

Bedford could be one of the rudest of men when he chose to exercise his wit at the expense of others. He happened to be a guest at a party given by a lady of some social pretensions. There arrived to it a husband and wife—the wife, big dominant, and masculine, the husband, small, meek, and submissive. Of them, the hostess said to Bedford, ‘Mr Bedford, I want to introduce you to my friends, Mr and Mrs So-and-so.’ Said Bedford, bowing to the couple, ‘Pleased to meet you. Which is which?’

His moments of most sentimental recollection were when he thought of the beauty of the sausages he had manufactured.

Pretty as a picture and poor as a crow.