Randolph Bedford Quotes

I am as happy,' said he, 'as a kingk, enchoying himsellef in his harem mit his queens.

Pretty as a picture and poor as a crow.

To-day, a Minister receiving a deputation personally promises ‘consideration of Cabinet’, in a tone that makes the deputation believe it has succeeded. To the wise the old rule persists. If a Government says ‘Yes’, it means ‘Perhaps’; and if it says ‘Perhaps’, it means ‘No’.

At the age of five I had begun an association with Temperance Societies; which ended at the age of sixteen—when I discovered the goodness of beer.

The Governor was a little pink old gentleman; so soft in the skin that he seemed to be stuffed with moss.

Never was a continent naturally so clean, and made so dirty, as Australia. There was not an animal pest, scarcely a vegetable pest; fools and the old world supplied them all.

His moments of most sentimental recollection were when he thought of the beauty of the sausages he had manufactured.

It is not without design that the monkey with the rainbow stern climbs high. It is the advertisement of his sex appeal, and he doesn't climb far unless there is an audience.

Australia has a word for the s, a word that should be used the world over to describe a killjoy, and that word is ''.

Ah!' said Wardley, 'the times are different from my young days. We were independent then; a fair day's work for a fair day's pay; that's all we asked. Here are young fellows today without any sense of independence. My two sons have taken the Old Age Pension.'
'How old are they, Bill?'
'One's seventy-four and the other seventy-two! No pride.

I'll never smoke tobacco,
It is a filthy weed—
I'll never put it in my mouth,'
Said little Bobby Reed.'For there is idle Jerry Jones,
As lazy as a pig,
Who smoked a clay pipe all day long,
And thought it made him big.

As salt as Lot's wife.

I read the other day that Hindenberg, waiting to see whether Hitler would secure leadership or not, said, ‘We will see how the cat will jump, with God’s help.’ I presume he meant that God would help him to vision, and not the cat to acrobatics; but one can see how the name of God becomes formula—to be used in every emergency, if only to give the emergency respectability. Hindenberg used the formula in everything. Eighteen months before the war ended, he and Ludendorf knew that they must fail; yet to save face they kept on losing two hundred thousand men a month, and ‘trusting in God.’

For we have here a beautiful land that none could e’er knock down,
The brightest jewel that ever was known in dear old George's crown;
The brightest jewel that ever was known and never can be a failure.
Although the damn Labor party is doing its best to ruin Australia...

Half way to Burwood there was a butcher’s shop, run by a Mrs Macnamara. She was a tall woman of great strength, working fiercely and living hard; a living testimonial to the forceful Colonial diet of beef and corn. She handled meataxe and saw as if they were toys. To see her chopping fore and hind quarters of beef fascinated me. I once heard her tell, without boastfulness, but in honest pride, that she was ‘doing six bodies a week’; which is a great tract and wilderness of meat.