I wonder what chairs think about all day: "Oh, here comes another asshole." - Robin Williams

Dubya doesn't speak while Cheney's drinking water. Check that shit out.

You're only given a little spark of madness and if you lose that, you're nothin'.

Because now, when you go through airport security, it's tight. You go through the metal detector, and if you're heavily pierced, like some of my friends, it's like, (steps forward) "BZZT!" "Take out your keys, sir." Tip of the iceberg. (pantomimes removing various piercings from the ears, nostrils eyebrows, tongue; then reaches to the side, grabs an imaginary drill, points it at his crotch and makes a drilling noise) For those playing the home game, this is called a Prince Albert. And I'm sure that was his last wish. I'm sure Albert said "Victoria, I'm dying. I want you to name a museum, a performance hall, and a bolt through the cock after me. That will be Victoria's Secret. Go, my darling!"