I don't know if you guys know this but I'm sort of a big deal. - CM Punk

Punk: Well, I've had six days to watch that scene over and over and over, and as painful as it was to watch, as painful it was to experience, I saw something more painful. Something caught my eye that was ten times more painful than my arm being mangled inside of a ladder while Alberto wrenched on it with his cross-armbreaker; it was more painful than Alberto butchering the English language; it was more painful than watching Miz [demonstrates] make his own bad-guy face, and his pathetic attempts to sound like a tough guy—"really? really?"—it was more painful than sitting through two hours of Michael Cole commentary as he struggles to sound relevant. No, I continued to watch Monday Night Raw, and what I saw was old clown shoes himself, the Executive Vice President of Talent Relations and Interim Raw General Manager, John Laurinaitis accept an award on my behalf. This wasn't just any award, it was the Slammy Award for Superstar of the Year, being accepted by a guy who's never been a superstar of thirty seconds. I mean, who's he ever beat? And I'm not a hard guy to find, I've yet to receive said Slammy. So what...[turns around and notices] oh. Speak of the devil. No, no, no, don't apologize. Where's my Slammy at? Laurinaitis: Punk, I mailed your Slammy to you, but with the holiday season, it may take a while to get to you. But if I were you, I'd be more worried about your championship match tonight than your Slammy. Punk: Well, if I were you, I'd wish myself best of luck in my future endeavors. But I don't expect you to do that; in fact, you wouldn't do that, just like I'm not gonna lose the Title tonight. So when TLC is over with, you're still gonna have to put up with CM Punk as your WWE Champion. Laurinaitis: You know what, Punk? I'm gonna be the bigger man right now, okay? I mean, after all, I am taller than you. Good luck tonight, and merry Christmas. Punk: Johnny, luck's for losers.

Thanks for your questions, Elijah Burke, but I like to keep my reasons for joining The New Breed to myself.

Punk: This is completely ridiculous on multiple, multiple levels. I mean there's so many things going through my head right now. This doesn't belong to you [holds Slammy award and looks at Ric Flair]. You haven't even been here in the past calender year. And the fact that anybody even voted for John Cena to be Superstar of the Year is absolutely atrocious. This is possibly the worst year of John Cena's life. He got beat by a guy that I'm gonna decimate at the Royal Rumble, I beat him at Summerslam...he lost last night, he's the first superstar to cash in his Money in the Bank contract and lose, he's a loser like everybody in Philadelphia, and he's a loser like you [points to Flair].