"The most annoying thing about the couple of times that I worked in office is that when you show up in the morning you say "hi" to everyone and then … - Jerry Seinfeld

Poetry is bad standup. It's carefully chosen words that have no laugh at the end.*

I'm very impressed with this seedless watermelon product that they have for us. They've done it! We now have seedless watermelon. Pretty amazing! What are they planting to grow the seedless watermelon, I wonder? The melons aren't humpin', are they? They must be plantin' somethin'!

You may have noticed that I tend to quit things soon after doing them, like TV series, animated movies, book writing, broadway plays. I do feel very strongly in stopping the second I feel like I'm not excited anymore, whatever I'm doing.