Luck? Good luck? GM, the last time I checked, luck is for losers. - CM Punk

I've come out here tonight to challenge you...challenge you, the WWE Universe, into seeing things my way and to learn how to just say "no." See, because the people who cheer for Jeff Hardy are just slaves to the vices associated with his (with quote fingers) "living in the moment." I feel bad for you, I really do. You walk around almost blind and you wear your prescriptions proudly on your sleeves like they were badges of honor. What was it the doctor told you? 'Just take one...every four hours,' right? Aside from myself, there's not a person in this arena who hasn't abused prescription medication or taken a recreational drug. And I know, trust me, it's hard being straight-edge, it's hard to live a straight-edge lifestyle. It's extremely difficult to be me, but what concerns me now is that none of you realize how much more difficult it is to live the life...that you all live. I'm positive nobody in here takes into account the long-term consequences of alcohol on your liver. (Smattering of cheers from audience) See, and you cheer that. That's nothing to cheer. You drink because it's fun, right? (Audience cheers a little louder) Eventually, it's not gonna be fun anymore when it spirals out of control and its no longer...it's no longer fun. Sooner or later, you're just drinking to feel normal. And then there's the smokers. You know, I don't know what's more disgusting–is watching a smoker pollute his/her lungs with over 4,000 foreign chemicals, or having to listen to the smoker convince themselves that they can quit whenever they want to. It's...it's hard to quit, I know, it takes a very strong person to quit, but an even stronger person never would've started smoking in the first place. (Audience boos and chants "Hardy") I didn't want to come out here and be the bearer of bad news, but let's face facts: chances are pretty slim that any of you here will ever get the monkey off your back. You'll never be able to pry the cigarette from your lips, or find the self-control to pour your drink from your glass, or the self-respect to take the pill out of your mouth. See, it starts, and it can't happen without learning how to say "no" to temptation, and that's why I'm out here. I'm out here to challenge you before it's too late. Please, learn how to say "no" to temptation, learn how to say "no" to your vices, learn how to control yourself.

I love Chicago. [Crowd cheers] I love the parks, i love Navy Pier, i love the skyline, i love the museums, i love the history, I LOVE CHICAGO! [Crowd cheers]' What i hate, what i hate, what i despise... is the inhabitants of Chicago. You! [Points to the crowd] You! [Points to the camera] You [points to the crowd again] ruined my beautiful city! You.. you middle class, lazy teamsters. You corrupt politicians, you corrupt police officers. The horrible horrible Chicago White Sox. The Susie Homemakers who fatten up their children with fast food, and then eat a bottle of pills and pass out on the couch. The out of work dads, you people make me sick! [Crowd boos slightly] I'm proud to live here, i'm proud to be from here, i am not proud to live amongst people like you, you are the scum of the earth, and you have ruined a beautiful city, and that for a second time should be burned to the ground, and in it's ashes, i and i alone will build a Straight-edge utopia. And speaking of fat people that nobody likes, we all saw The Big Show knock me out with his big stupid ham-fist. [Raises fist to camera] And yet, unlike all of you, i don't run away. I stand here on my own two feet, and i stand here defiant. I stand here confident. This is my house, and i run from nobody. Not any of you, not somebody that's a foot taller, not somebody that outweighs me by 250 pounds. Tonight, i am David. And Big Show, he can be Goliath. And my slingshot is the power of almighty Straight-edge!

[to Laurinaitis] What's the matter? You didn't like that? Huh? Mr. Laurinaitis. Do you find me to be disrespectful? You don't like when I just grab things out of your hand, do you? Well let me tell you what you're going to do about it...absolutely nothing. [Laurinaitis mouths at Punk, "he wasn't part of the match.", directing to Mick Foley] No! You know what...Mick has nothing to do with what's going on right here. It's time we put our ca — no, SHUT YOUR MOUTH! YOU'RE GONNA LISTEN TO ME! You're gonna man up! You're gonna take your balls out of your purse right now and we're gonna lay our cards on the table. YOU...dont like me, but it has nothing to do with who I am, and if I can be your psychologist for a moment, it has everything to do with who you are not. You see, the people have no idea who you are, and that's because when you were a competitor in sports-entertainment as you like to call it, you had the look, but oh boy, oh boy, did you ever suck! And that must have been really, really difficult, Johnny...your brother being one half of the legendary Road Warriors, and you never amounting to much more than road-kill. See, you were boring, you weren't charismatic, you were vanilla...that's right, BORING! [sets off "boring" chants from the crowd] And it kills you...it kills you that you never made it to this stage, the WWE, as a competitor. So you traded in your lame ass tights, for your equally lame ass suit. You went from somebody who just sucked, to somebody who just sucked up! And now, that you're your corporate yes-man, you take your eyes, and you look at a guy like me and you can't stand the fact that the last year of my career, I've achieved more than you have in your entire life.