You are Doogie Howser, M.D., and you will remain officially so for four years, and unofficially so, to some extent, for the rest of your natural life. - Neil Patrick Harris

(Friends, take note: Sometimes, your audience isn’t going to respond the way you’d like them to. Most times, you can’t escape by running off stage and hiding, so it’s a good idea to learn to let words roll off you, like water off a duck’s back.)

But you never wind up with a girlfriend who’s viscerally excited by your advances or into your touch, and the fact that you don’t is probably not a coincidence.

Then you go backstage and get a tour, and this to you is truly the coolest thing in the world. You’re shown the set and the lights and the costumes and learn another variation on the same basic lesson about showbiz you will learn over and over again — it’s all, fundamentally, just a bunch of crap glued together and spray-painted over. But the wonderful paradox is that knowing this does not detract from the experience of watching it a second time. On the contrary: it makes it that much more miraculous.