"It would seem that you have no useful skill or talent whatsoever," he said. "Have you thought of going into teaching?" - Terry Pratchett

As a boy I had a clear image of the Almighty: He had a tail coat and pinstriped trousers, black, slicked-down hair and an aquiline nose. On the whole, I was probably a rather strange child, and I wonder what my life might have been like if I'd met a decent theologian when I was nine.

It is well known that a vital ingredient of success is not knowing that what you're attempting can't be done.

The duke had a mind that ticked like a clock and, like a clock, it regularly went cuckoo.