Either he was suffering a terrible case of gas or he had a pint-size child practicing the trumpet in his back pocket. - David Sedaris

Use the word 'ya'll' and before you knew it, you'd find yourself in a haystack french-kissing an underage goat

"You kids think you invented sex," my mother was fond of saying. But hadn't we? With no instruction manual or federally enforced training period, didn't we all come away feeling we'd discovered something unspeakably modern? What produced in others a feeling of exhilaration left Jason and me with a mortifying sense of guilt. We fled the room as if, in our fumblings, we had uncapped some virus we still might escape if we ran fast enough. Had one of the counselors not caught me scaling the fence, I felt certain I could have made it back to Raleigh by morning, skittering across the surface of the ocean like one of those lizards often featured on television wildlife programs.

The rabbit of Easter. He bring of the chocolate.