Now let's repeat the non-conformists' oath: I promise to be different! [audience repeats] I promise to be unique! [audience repeats] I promise not to… - Steve Martin

I didn’t even need to know the specific that was troubling her, because to me her halting voice easily stood for the general woe that hangs in the air, even on life’s happiest days.

"Be courteous, kind, and forgiving.
Be gentle and peaceful each day.
Be warm and human and grateful.

Be thoughtful and trustful and childlike, Be witty and happy and wise.
Be honest and love all your neighbors.
Be obsequious, purple, and clairvoyant.

Be pompous, obese, and eat cactus.
Be dull and boring and omnipresent.
Criticize things that you don't know about.
Be oblong and have your knees removed.

Be sure to stop at stop signs,
And drive fifty-five miles an hour.
Pick up a hitchhiker foaming at the mouth.
And when you get home get a master's degree in geology.

Be tasteless , rude, and offensive.
Live in a swamp and be three- dimensional.
Put a live chicken in your underwear.
Go into a closet and suck eggs.

"Now, everyone," repeat

Added- Ladies only: Never make love to bigfoot!

Men only: Hello, my name is bigfoot."

She didn't even finish her last sentence; it just trailed off. I think the subject had changed in her head while her mouth had continued on the old topic, not realizing it was out of supplies.