Chorus of old men: How true the saying: 'Tis impossible to live with the baggages, impossible to live without 'em. - Aristophanes

Chorus [speaking for Aristophanes]: Yet I have not been seen frequenting the wrestling school intoxicated with success and trying to seduce young boys; but I took all my theatrical gear and returned straight home. I pained folk but little and caused them much amusement; my conscience rebuked me for nothing. Hence both grown men and youths should be on my side and I likewise invite the bald to give me their votes; for, if I triumph, everyone will say, both at table and at festivals, “Carry this to the bald man, give these cakes to the bald one, do not grudge the poet whose talent shines as bright as his own bare skull the share he deserves.” (tr. O'Neill 1938, Perseus)

STREPSIADES. So the rear of a gnat is a trumpet. Oh! what a splendid discovery! Thrice happy Socrates! ‘Twould not be difficult to succeed in a law-suit, knowing so much about the gut of a gnat!

Dicaeopolis: Well, how are things at Megara? Megarian: We are crying with hunger at our firesides. Dicaeopolis: The fireside is jolly enough with a piper. But what else is doing at Megara, eh? Megarian: What else? When I left for the market, the authorities were taking steps to let us die in the quickest manner. Dicaeopolis: That is the best way to get you out of all your troubles. Megarian: True. Dicaeopolis: What other news of Megara? What is wheat selling at? Megarian: With us it is valued as highly as the very gods in heaven! (tr. Athen. 1912, vol. 1, Perseus)