Dear Child of God, I am sorry to say that suffering is not optional. - Desmond Tutu

When we can accept both our humanity and the perpetrator's we can write a new story. One in which we are no longer cast as a victim, but a survivor, even perhaps a hero.

There will be no future unless there is peace. There can be no peace unless there is reconciliation. But there can be no reconciliation before there is forgiveness. And there can be no forgiveness unless people repent.

A victim is in a position of weakness and subject to the whims of others. Heroes are people who determine their own fate and their own future. A victim had nothing to give and no choice to make. A hero has the strength and ability to be generous and forgiving and the power and freedom that come from being able to make the choice of forgiveness.