(after Phil Jupittus had insulted Michael Jackson, and David Gest had said 'be nice!') Aw, be nice to the baby-dangling freak. - Bill Bailey

Without the beat in the background, Jazz basically sounds like an armadillo was let loose on the keyboard

Three blind mice walk into a pub. But they are unaware of their surroundings, so to derive humour from it would be exploitative.

But we won't have any genetically modified food, oooh no, we won't have any GM. Which is a shame, I think we've missed a trick there. We could develop wheat with the properties of Velcro... to catch whatever it is that's forming those crop circles! But then the spaceship would have to have the corresponding Velcro, so it's a bit of a long shot.