"He took a sip of my father’s weak coffee and spit it back into the mug. "This shit’s like making love in a canoe." "Excuse me?" "It’s fucking near w… - David Sedaris

After a few months in my parents' basement, I took an apartment near the state university, where I discovered both crystal methamphetamine and conceptual art. Either one of the these things are dangerous, but in combination they have the potential to destroy entire civilizations.

A zoo is a good place to make a spectacle of yourself, as the people around you have creepier, more photogenic things to look at.

If you talk to people, you can have whatever you want.