The Feynman Dilemma A diner says to a waiter, “What’s this fly doing in my soup?” And the waiter says, “It looks like the backstroke.” Yet if the sa… - Steve Martin

"Be courteous, kind, and forgiving.
Be gentle and peaceful each day.
Be warm and human and grateful.

Be thoughtful and trustful and childlike, Be witty and happy and wise.
Be honest and love all your neighbors.
Be obsequious, purple, and clairvoyant.

Be pompous, obese, and eat cactus.
Be dull and boring and omnipresent.
Criticize things that you don't know about.
Be oblong and have your knees removed.

Be sure to stop at stop signs,
And drive fifty-five miles an hour.
Pick up a hitchhiker foaming at the mouth.
And when you get home get a master's degree in geology.

Be tasteless , rude, and offensive.
Live in a swamp and be three- dimensional.
Put a live chicken in your underwear.
Go into a closet and suck eggs.

"Now, everyone," repeat

Added- Ladies only: Never make love to bigfoot!

Men only: Hello, my name is bigfoot."

She knows that she needs new friends but introductions are hard to come by when your natural state is shyness.

As she sits in a booth, it never occurs to her to observe herself, and thus she is spared the image of a girl sitting alone in a bar on Saturday night. A girl who is willing to give every ounce of herself to someone, who could never betray her lover, who never suspects maliciousness of anyone, and whose sexuality sleeps within her, waiting to be stirred. .... She keeps working to make connections, but the pile of near misses is starting to overwhelm her. What Mirabelle needs is some omniscient voice to illuminate and spotlight her, and to inform everyone that this one has value, this one over here, the one sitting in the bar by herself, and then to find her counterpart and bring him to her.