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" "Money is good. Imagination is better. Giving yourself permission to create a life that sustains you *no matter what others think* is best.
(née Adegbeye) (born 3 October 1991) is a Nigerian writer, essayist and public intellectual. Her work concentrates on questions of gender, sexuality, urbanism and feminism. She also writes fiction.
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Unfortunately, hierarchies of human value also create hierarchies of knowledge. The people most likely to be marginalised by unjust social systems – and thus best placed to really understand them – are also those least likely to be considered credible “experts” on the subject. This is particularly true because the knowledge gleaned from marginalisation is invariably threatening to the system that produces it.
It has never been easy to reorganise or resist social norms and beliefs, but among the most difficult ones to reject are those at the root of the social system known as patriarchy. This system relies on a few core ideas to perpetuate itself, two of which are that gender is a fixed binary, and women are the inferior parties within it.
Luckily, we don’t have to know everything about everyone’s realities to respect them, not tell lies about them, or believe that they know best what their needs are. We just need to do our bit to ensure they are able to lead dignified, free and safe lives, even when that bit is simply getting the hell out of their way. The root of respect is not the full understanding of other people; it is the recognition of people’s non-negotiable humanity. Regardless of our identities or how we navigate our different worlds, we all have the same rights to self-determine, live in community with others, enjoy access to the opportunities we need to survive, and write our own (magical) narratives. It can never be anyone’s place to tell another person or group of people that yielding space for their needs to be met is a danger to others. Only unrepentant bigotry results in such claims. By making respectful space for one another and learning from those who have the kinds of knowledge that we could never gain on our own, we become able to see all the different worlds that exist in this one that we share. And isn’t that the strongest magic of all?