Is she crazy, like it says on her bracelet, or is she just looking at my sheets? I dunno! - Dave Attell

Sex is not that important; it's the afterward part when you're naked and it's warm. Watching the sun come up through the windshield you look in her good eye and you help strap on her leg and you know: you fucked a pirate.

If you see a man running down the street cock-flapping, you run with that man. 'Cause there is some scary shit coming the other way.

Sometimes you need a cigarette. Like after you have sex with a beautiful woman or a confused young man.