When asked his opinion of pragmatism, Morgenbesser replied "It's all very well in theory but it doesn't work in practice." - Sidney Morgenbesser

Morgenbesser in response to B.F. Skinner: "Are you telling me it's wrong to anthropomorphize people?" (quoted by Daniel Dennett)

Of Hilary Putnam – "He’s a quantum philosopher. I can’t understand him and his position at the same time."

Morgenbesser was leaving a subway station in New York City and put his pipe in his mouth as he was ascending the steps. A police officer told him that there was no smoking on the subway. Morgenbesser pointed out that he was leaving the subway, not entering it, and hadn't lit up yet anyway. The cop again said that smoking was not allowed in the subway, and Morgenbesser repeated his comment. The cop said, "If I let you do it, I'd have to let everyone do it." To which Morgenbesser, in a much misunderstood line, retorted: "Who do you think you are, Kant?" He was then hauled off to the police station, where The Categorical Imperative had to be explained to the police officers. (Kant, as pronounced in American English, sounds similar to cunt, which is what he was mistaken for having said).