When I was a child, I was terrified by this. (plays theme from The Magic Roundabout ) It was very sinister, wasn't it? It just went on and on, like D… - Bill Bailey

[Singing as U2, in Irish accent] Hello! Some old Celtic bollocks!

I was alone, my heart was cold, it was a stone, My soul was lonely like a stone there was no moss. And when I danced, I danced alone, But then I did not dance, because I was alone, so I did not dance. I shuffled through life invisible to all the happy couples Who would mock me with their merry laughter - ha ha ha. The only sound I heard in my lonely silent world was the rusty hammer of my heart, nailing at the hatred in my soul... But then you came... And my life was turned upside down. You showed me the beauty of the things that I had never seen, like a snowflake that melts on the eyelash of a startled deer. Or the painting of the dog that wears a deerstalker and smokes a pipe that made you laugh so heartily, but I had previously thought was rubbish. Or the duck that lands so clumsily on a frozen pond in Winter, but the intoxicating power of our love transforms this simple act into an anthropomorphic drama. Where Mr Duck's embarrassed and the other ducks are laughing. Quack, quack, quack. And then you left. And I died a thousand deaths and I will die a thousand more. And I thought you were an angel but you turned out to be a whore. And everything has turned to dust, everything is infected with a plague - Why did you have to sleep with Craig? 'Oh, he's so sensitive, he's got a tattoo' Yeah, carving your name with a compass in my forehead was not enough for you! The snowflake on the eye of the deer has turned to pus that oozes from an open wound... The deer now blinded stumbles into a ravine. The duck lies shredded in a pancake, soaking in the hoisin of your lies. The dog has moved from the pipe to 60 cigarettes a day and coughs his away life in the cold neon research lab of your betrayal. Of your betrayal!

Beautiful ladies in danger. Danger all around the world. But I will protect them, because I am Chris de Burgh!<br/r> Beautiful ladies in emergency situations.<br/r> Beautiful ladies are lovely but sometimes they don't take care
They're too busy with their makeup and combing their lovely hair<br/r>To take basic safety precautions<br/r> But I will protect them I will save the pretty ones<br/r>With their smiles and their beautiful eyes<br/r>But let the ugly ones die<br/r>I have no place for them in my new world order<br/r>I won't waste my seed on hideous trolls<br/r>Kill kill kill kill kill the trolls<br/r> hunt them down there shall be no clemency<br/r>Kill kill kill kill kill the trolls<br/r>Look under the bridges that's where they hide<br/r>That's where they hide<br/r>And beauty shall be my bride.