Perhaps the most revolting character that the United States ever produced was the Christian Businessman. - H. L. Mencken

Creator: A comedian whose audience is afraid to laugh.

Every election is a sort of advance auction sale of stolen goods.

[Roosevelt] was always... finding new victims to loot and new followers to reward, flouting common sense, and boldly denying its existence, demonstrating by his anti-logic that two and two made five, promising larger and larger slices of the moon. His career will greatly engage historians, if any good ones ever appear in America, but it will be of even more interest to psychologists. He was the first American to penetrate to the real depths of vulgar stupidity. He never made the mistake of overestimating the intelligence of the American mob. He was its unparalleled professor.