A glacier will frequently move forward one foot while retreating three feet... Which reminds me a lot of myself! - Charles M. Schulz

Charlie Brown: A penny! Rats! Why couldn't I have found a nickel? What good is a penny these days? Why do things like that always happen to me?! *walks off frustrated*
Lucy: Gee, he found a penny! Why don't things like that ever happen to me?

"Don't sit there watching TV without your glasses! Do you want to ruin your eyes?!"
"My opthalmologist says that not wearing glasses cannot hurt the eyes even if those glasses are badly needed for adequate vision."
"What does your opthalmologist think of the foreign situation?"

Snoopy: So this is the last day of the year. Another complete year gone by and what have I accomplished this year that I haven't accomplished every other year? Nothing! (He smiles.) How consistent can you get?