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I didn't realize how bad my outlook on life is until I went on a press tour for Ratatouille and had to talk to children's magazines and children's TV… - Patton Oswalt
" "I didn't realize how bad my outlook on life is until I went on a press tour for Ratatouille and had to talk to children's magazines and children's TV shows. And I wasn't interviewed by adults; I was interviewed by actual smiling children. And I didn't realize until that point how desperately I depend on negativity and cynicism just to communicate with the outside world. It's pathetic. The Oswalt family crest should just be a pair of eyes rolling off to the side, a bag of Cheetos, and then the word "fuck." That would be our shield that you'd see retreating from the great battles of history. "Fuck this. Bows and arrows? Nobody told me anything about bows and arrows. Goodbye."
English
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About Patton Oswalt
Patton Peter Oswalt (born January 27, 1969) is an American stand-up comedian, actor, writer, singer, dancer, voice artist, comedian.
Also Known As
Native Name:
Patton Peter Oswalt
Alternative Names:
Patton P. Oswalt
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Additional quotes by Patton Oswalt
I love the fact that I grew up in Sterling, I really do. Because when you're growing up in a nondescript, soulless, boring town, you've been given a present from God. And the present is: The Test of the Small Town. And you pass that test when you go, "I'm leaving before I kill everyone and then myself." That's when you pass. You have passed. You fail when you go, "I'll get a job at the Citgo and fill my truck up for free!" Oops, you fucked up. And the person who administers your test, year after year, until you can't take it any more until you can't take it and you leave, is the movie critic on the local news. That's the guy whose job it is to keep everything relevant and cool and important away from you. You have to get off your ass and go find it on your own initiative.
"You've gotta respect everyone’s beliefs." No, you don't. That's what gets us in trouble. Look, you have to acknowledge everyone's beliefs, and then you have to reserve the right to go: "That is fuckin' stupid. Are you kiddin' me?" I acknowledge that you believe that, that's great, but I'm not gonna respect it. I have an uncle that believes he saw Sasquatch. We do not believe him nor do we respect him!
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[on Barack Obama's election] Do you realize for the next four years America is gonna be a cool eighties cop flick? "Barack, get your ass in my office now! Did you balance the budget again?!" "Yeah, it was just sitting there, chief..." "You wrecked twenty cars! Senate's gonna have my ass for this." "Eh, whatever, chief." And he rides away in a Camaro on two wheels.
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