So I thought my first Prime Ministers Question time I'd do in a slightly different way and I'm sure the Prime Minister's going to absolutely welcome this as he welcomed this idea in 2005 but something has seemed to have happened to his memory during that period. So I sent out an email to thousands of people and asked them what questions they would like to put to the Prime Minister, and I received forty thousand replies.

I said, ‘I won’t do it unless the prime minister calls me himself, or you put it in writing.

Once a minister is still at post, the minister is required to appear personally to answer those questions

Tell me how you measure me, and I will tell you how I will behave.

Tell me how you measure me and I’ll tell you how I will behave.

Tut, tut! I have often admonished my pupils to count ten before speaking. Were I you, Mr. Philander, I should count at least a thousand, and then maintain a discreet silence.

You’ve got to conduct yourself in a way that is above board, even if this is to your own cost.

I thank the Prime Minister for his remarks about me. Debating with him at the Dispatch Box has been exciting, fascinating, fun, an enormous challenge and, from my point of view, wholly unproductive in every sense. I am told that in my time at the Dispatch Box I have asked the Prime Minister 1,118 direct questions, but no one has counted the direct answers—it may not take long.

Today I shall behave, as if this is the day I will be remembered.

Prove your words by your deeds.

When I write, I solemnly visit myself.

It is for the Prime Minister]] to decide whether he expressed himself appropriately in the Commons. It is up to him as to whether he wants to annoy 51% of the population.

I decided as long as I'm going to hell, I might as well do it thoroughly.

You have to make sure that you know what you are doing.You put yourself totally into what you are acting to convince people.