So my heart goes out to them. Figuratively. I would never actually entrust my heart to scientists — they'd probably implant it in a baboon. And a bab… - Stephen Colbert

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So my heart goes out to them. Figuratively. I would never actually entrust my heart to scientists — they'd probably implant it in a baboon. And a baboon with my heart would be practically unstoppable. Baboon strength and agility combined with my determination and media savvy? It would be a threat to all of humanity.

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About Stephen Colbert

Stephen Tyrone Colbert (born 13 May 1964) is an American satirist, comedian, writer, actor, and television host most famous for his work on The Daily Show, The Colbert Report from 2005 to 2014 where he portrays a parody of conservative media pundits, and The Late Show with Stephen Colbert since 2015. He graduated from Northwestern University in 1986, and appeared in the films Nobody Knows Anything! (2003), Snow Days (1999), and Shock Asylum (1997). In 1995, Colbert made his TV debut on Comedy Central in Exit 57 and was later on the show Strangers with Candy. Colbert did voice work for "The Ambiguously Gay Duo" on Saturday Night Live as the voice of Ace, and also provided the voices of "Myron Reducto", "Phil Ken Sebben", and "The Eagle Of Truth" on Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law.

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Also Known As

Birth Name: Stephen Tyrone Colbert
Alternative Names: Stephen T. Colbert
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Additional quotes by Stephen Colbert

This is rough. Last time Trump won, it felt like a grotesque fluke. This time, America knew exactly what they were getting and they went hard for him anyway. It's like that famous quote: "Those who do not learn from history... are me! Hey, that's me! Which reminds me, I wanted to look something up. Hey Google, did Joe Biden drop out of the election?"

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