...next time you rake up those leaves realize you're about to jump into a pile of tree shit. . - Ze Frank

A surprise party is where your friends and family lie to you to make you feel alone and unloved. Then, when they throw you the party they would have thrown, regardless, you experience a sudden rush of emotion as your depressed self returns back to normal. Some people think that life in general's like that. They keep waiting for the party. I call that: denial.

[T]here's more than one way to skin a cat. But from the cat's perspective, they all suck. .

The word vagina is a beautiful word, like all words that have v's and g's in them, like gavel, or evangelical. I love vaginas, and evangelicals. I fucking hate gavels though.