Ze Frank Quotes

Any individual entity that pretends to understand the rules that guide this space is under an illusion.

Just a reminder, what other people think of you is none of your business..

Who likes the little little duckies in the pond? I do, I do, I do, a-chicka quack quack.

Trying to defeat an ideology by killing individuals is like trying to save a marriage with a blowjob. It might buy you some time, but in the end it'll just suck. .

'Army of one': when the shit hits the fan, you're on your own..

Both hurting and happiness make me feel more alive, but as I get older it seems that hurting's the low hanging fruit. So I pick it.

This little bathtub smells like ass..

Okay, roll-call, no talking. Benny, Marc; Ethel, Shakina, nice shoes. Bobo twins, anyone seen the Bobo twins? Those Bobo twins.

(On airplane etiquette) Although reclining your seat is technically your right, just like free speech if you exercise it to your limits everyone around you will think you're an asshole.

I don't think you understand what the word cool means.... Being cool is about not participating in traditionally enjoyable experiences and creating the illusion that happiness can be found in alternative, less enjoyable experiences. The degree to which other people around you try to emulate your alternative lifestyle and fail determines how cool you are. You're only as cool as people wish they were.

When I get sick I start scripting the video tape that I'm gonna leave behind when I die. Sometimes imagining that even makes me cry. Both hurting and happiness make me feel more alive, but as I get older it seems that hurting's the low hanging fruit. So I pick it. .

I'm not sure, but I think I might be an adult.... Someone the other day told me I should act more like one, but I don't even know what it is. What's an adult? I blame it on my parents; they caught it before I was even born. When I break things now I have to pay for them. I rarely get cake at parties anymore. When people give me sheets of paper I'm not supposed to draw on 'em. I'm just supposed to put the letters of my name on a line. Where's the fun in that? People get funny when I say the obvious, like "you've got a big nose." All of a sudden I'm supposed to know about the weather. And have plans! I even checked on the internet and no one's working on a cure. I'm not sure I like it.

[T]here's more than one way to skin a cat. But from the cat's perspective, they all suck. .

Water boarding: Is that like snowboarding?! .

Are the new viewers gone yet?