I Googled myself without lubricant. I don't recommend it. - Carrie Fisher

I have to start by telling you that my entire existence can be summed up in one phrase. And that is: If my life wasn't funny it would just be true, and that is unacceptable.

I don’t want life to imitate art. I want life to be art.

"That's the way it works in movies," said Suzanne. "Something happens that has an impact on someone's life, and based on that impact, his life shifts course. Well, that's not how it happens in life. Something has an impact on you, and then your life stays the same, and you think, 'Well, what about the impact?' You have epiphanies all the time. They just don't have any effect."