Well, you know what they say about John, anyway? - Dylan Moran

When you're born, you have a finger up your nose, the other hand on your dick, and you get taller. And that is really it.

You know, it's a sad day when your child looks at you and asks: "Daddy, is this organic?" "Organic? I grew up on Angel Delight! We didn't have anything in the house if it wasn't neon!"

If you are going to have an afterlife, why not just have a physical afterlife? Just come back as a tentacle with a set of lips looking for huge lumps of chocolate to fuck, it'd be much more reasonable.