It's unrealistic to live your life within such strict parameters. - David Sedaris

Honestly, though, does choice even come into it? Is it my fault that the good times fade to nothing while the bad ones burn forever bright?

Plenty of animals had pets, but few were more devoted than the mouse, who owned a baby corn snake — “A rescue snake, she’d be quick to inform you. This made it sound like he’d been snatched from the jaws of a raccoon, but what she’d really rescued him from was a life without her love. And what sort of a life would that have been?

Friends always say, "How can you eat those? I read in the paper that they're made from hog's lips."
"And...?"
"And hearts and eyelids."