Love is never governed by Reason. - Alexander Chee

If I seem cagey, it is because I am not a liar and hate being considered one, due to an accident of craft. But also, if I tell you the idea, and the description disappoints you, the novel can be lost.

I was now both the secret and the keeper of it, but the idea that I could not know what is was I served, nor why, nor who, became nearly unendurable all at once

I became something they couldn’t imagine, something they would have kept me from becoming, and that, it seems to me, was always in my nature to become.