PREMIUM FEATURE
Advanced Search Filters
Filter search results by source, date, and more with our premium search tools.
All you need for this is a pair of gloves. Just take your gloves, right, and go down to the bank. Get in line behind all the people at the bank. And … - Dane Cook
" "All you need for this is a pair of gloves. Just take your gloves, right, and go down to the bank. Get in line behind all the people at the bank. And give the person in front of you a nudge, just a little nudge, and they turn around. And when they turn around, start putting the gloves on and go "Now would be a good time to leave...Yeah, right now. Either that or take out a paper and pen and go, hey, how you spell 'Shoot you in the fucking face'? Come on, hurry up. One word? What is it?"
English
Collect this quote
About Dane Cook
Dane Jeffrey Cook (born March 18, 1972, in Cambridge, Massachusetts) is an American observational stand-up comedian with dark humor, comedic violence, and excitable, high-energy stage presence.
Also Known As
Birth Name:
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Related quotes. More quotes will automatically load as you scroll down, or you can use the load more buttons.
Additional quotes by Dane Cook
Time machine... wouldn't you like to travel through time? I would. I'd go back... mess with people. You know what I would do? I would go back to when my mom and dad were having sex, to have me. Ya'know, come in, spank my dad on the ass *smack* I'M YOUR SON FROM THE FUTURE!! AAAAAAHAHAHHAHAHAHA! *smack* I'M FROM THE FUTURE!! I'M YOUR SON!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAH
The reason I like to watch stuff about the Civil War is because I believe that I was in the Civil War. I went to a clairvoyant and she told me in a past life, she goes "You were in the Civil War." And I said I feel this. Because when I watch programs about the Civil War, sometimes, I feel like I know people. I'm like "There's James!" "Lloyd! I would know you, you fangle-tooth motherfucker! Go build that railroad."
Loading...