Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it […] - Joan Didion

Vanish.
Pass into nothingness: the Keats line that frightened her.
Fade as the blue nights fade, go as the brightness goes.
Go back into the blue.
I myself placed her ashes in the wall.
I myself saw the cathedral doors locked at six.
I know what it is I am now experiencing.
I know what the frailty is, I know what the fear is.
The fear is not for what is lost.
What is lost is already in the wall.
What is lost is already behind the locked doors.
The fear is for what is still to be lost.
You may see nothing still to be lost.
Yet there is no day in her life on which I do not see her.

Grammar is a piano I play by ear, since I seem to have been out of school the year the rules were mentioned.

"We still counted happiness and health and love and luck and beautiful children as "ordinary blessings.