Wisdom is synergy of mind and heart. - Stephen Covey

The biggest communication problem is we do not listen to understand.
We listen to reply.

I borrowed strength from my position and authority and forced her to do what I wanted her to do. But borrowing strength builds weakness. It builds weakness in the borrower because it reinforces dependence on external factors to get things done. It builds weakness in the person forced to acquiesce, stunting the development of independent reasoning, growth, and internal discipline. And finally, it builds weakness in the relationship. Fear replaces cooperation, and both people involved become more arbitrary and defensive.

People simply feel better about themselves when they’re good at something.