After I lost my seat, Michelle [his wife] said, "Come on, you know when one door closes ... it is shut. What do you want to do now?" And that is when… - Gyles Brandreth

It's different now, it's different now. Now I can speak the truth. I can tell you that the one thing I really, really couldn't bear when I was an MP were my constituents. [laughter] Let's face it: the people have contempt for the politicians; it is as nothing to the contempt we have for you. [laughter] All over this country, there are politicians on their way to the Labour Party conference, coming away from the LibDem one, getting ready to go to the Conservative one, thinking "God, at last he's said it. He's said what we all feel, that happiness is the constituency in the rear-view mirror."

I had to pull about twenty pieces of broken glass out of my hand using tweezers and antiseptic cream. I'm never going to have a game of arm wrestling with Michael Howard again.

In my wife's view, there is too much clutter. She has declared that the moment I die, she has the local skip company on rapid dial and everything will go.