Do not allow children to mix drinks. It is unseemly and they use too much vermouth. - Fran Lebowitz

I never met anyone who didn't have a very smart child. What happens to these children, you wonder, when they reach adulthood?

The best fame is a writer's fame. It's enough to get a table at a good restaurant, but not enough to get you interrupted when you eat.

If, while watching the sun set on a used-car lot in Los Angeles, you are struck by the parallels between the image and the inevitable fate of humanity, do not, under any circumstance, write it down.