You will learn to recognize when detachment is advisable. A good rule of thumb is: You need to detach most when it seems the least likely or possible… - Melody Beattie

You need to detach most when it seems the least likely or possible thing to do. I

I believe detachment can become a habitual response, in the same manner that obsessing, worrying, and controlling became habitual responses — by

I spent many years of my life not even bothering to think about what I wanted and needed, where I wanted to go, and what I wanted to do. Life was to be endured. I didn’t think I deserved good things. I didn’t think most good things were within my reach. I wasn’t that interested in my life, except as an appendage to other people. I didn’t think about living my life; I was too focused on others. I was too busy reacting, rather than acting.

Ultimately, too much dependency on a person can kill love. Relationships based on emotional insecurity and need, rather than on love, can become self-destructive. They don’t work. Too much need drives people away and smothers love. It scares people away.