I guarantee you Satan's gonna have no problems on this planet, 'cause all the women are gonna go: "What a cute butt!" "He's Satan." "You don't know h… - Bill Hicks

"I was over in Australia during Easter, which was really interesting. You know, they celebrate Easter the exact same way we do, commemorating the death and resurrection of Jesus by telling our children that a giant bunny rabbit … left chocolate eggs in the night. Now … I wonder why we're fucked up as a race. I've read the Bible. I can't find the word "bunny" or "chocolate" anywhere in the fucking book."

She was a southern girl, which is the same as saying she was insane.

Now we have women priests. What do y'all think of that? Women priests? [scattered applause] Yeah. I think it's fine, women priests, you know. So what? Now we got priests of both sexes I don't listen to.