I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks,… - Elayne Boosler

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I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.

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About Elayne Boosler

Elayne Boosler (born August 18, 1952) is an American comedian.

Biography information from Wikiquote

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Additional quotes by Elayne Boosler

My fashion philosophy is, if you’re not covered in dog hair, your life is empty.

People lose their senses at the beach 'cause the sun beats down too hard. They say things that just don't gel, you know. Well, you've heard this a lot: "Pick up a shell - oh, you can hear the ocean!" You could pick up a bicycle and hear the ocean - you're at the beach. Put the shell down, you'll hear the ocean twice as loud.

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When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country!

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