Dad followed his I’m-So-Disappointed speech with a lecture on career opportunities. “You’re going to study literature and get a job doing what?” he s… - David Sedaris

Standing in a two-hour line makes people worry that they're not living in a democratic nation. People stand in line for two houres and they go over the edge.

It doesn't take many people to muck up a roadside. A devoted handful can do the trick. One of the things I find repeatedly is a plastic Diet Coke bottle containing a meticulously folded Mars bar wrapper. I imagine this is someone's after-work snack and that by putting the wrapper inside the empty bottle, the person feels he's done his bit. And though he has turned two pieces of trash into one, until he learns to keep it in his car, I don't think he's entitled to pat himself on the back.

The Bible says that it’s all right to cast the first stone if someone dead is telling you to do it