Thank you all for this great honor, and for all your great work. I hope it makes you happy, as you have made me happy for this five minutes of my lif… - Jerry Seinfeld

I do have a bucket list. And I looked at the list, and then, I decided to turn the B [into] an F, and I was done with it.

I am completely obsessed. And the audience wants that; they pay for that. I don’t want to see someone who’s kind of into it. ... That’s what I care about. That’s all I care about. I don’t care what you do — I just want to see people and talk to people and be around people who are into it.

Once I'm done with [a] bit, it either goes in the garbage or the accordion folder. Those are the only two destinations. And then it's in the air. It has to survive on its own. Bits are like turtles right after they hatch, running to the beach.