Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual. - Terry Pratchett

"The philosopher Didactylos has summed up an alternative hypothesis as "Things just happen. What the hell"."

What your soldier wants -- really, really wants -- is no-one shooting back at him.

"People flock in, nevertheless, in search of answers to those questions only librarians are considered to be able to answer, such as "Is this the laundry?" "How do you spell surreptitious?" and, on a regular basis, "Do you have a book I remember reading once? It had a red cover and it turned out they were twins.