The only difference between me and others is that they think they can change something with cute little poems, nice cards or embracing trees and bein… - Henry Rollins

Sometimes I would get invited to a party or to go out to dinner by one
of them and I would decline. Part of me wanted to go, but those kind of
outings always made me feel even more alienated than usual. Hearing them
talk made me feel lonely and hateful at the same time. Lonely because I
didn't fit in, never did. When I was reminded, it hurt. And hateful
because it reaffirmed what I already knew, that I was alone and on the
outside.

I would like to be able to gently drift in and out of existence when I wanted to. I don’t want to kill myself. I still want to listen to Charlie Parker and sit in a room alone at four in the morning. There are moments to live for. There are times, hours slammed together, that are definitely worthwhile. It’s all the other hours, minutes and unendurable expanses of time that drag me by my collarbone slowly through the mindlessness of their blank words.

Respect is not a one way street